Mass Effect 2
(I did do all side missions, but I didn't add them to this!! Would've taken ages otherwise!! And I did all the Loyalty missions too!)
Ok, so on the Normandy, ship appears out of nowhere, pwns us, I get spaced, then next thing I know I'm on lookin up at some bird...then I black out again, then the same womans tellin me to get up, coz the base is under attack...she tells me to go to the locker and get the armour and pistol, so I do...then as if by magic, I'm wearin the armour, and the pistol is in my hand...and, then I find out I need a clip for me gun...hang on a tick..I didn't need a clip last time... =/ anyway, so I walk down a corridor, and a robot shoots at me, I dispatch them easily, shoot more robots then I find a grenade launcher..sweet!! =D Shoot more mechs, and took a lift down a level...shot more mechs, watched some holo-reports, then met some dude who wouldn't tell me who he worked for. Turned out he had biotic powers & he helped me fight more mechs...after we'd killed them, he told me a few things, like I've been dead for 2 years...WTF??! Then, some other bloke said he needed help..went to rescue him, and found out they worked for Cerberus...where have I heard that name before??? Anyway, shot more mechs, walked around for abit, then met the woman who talked to me...she shot the bloke I rescued, then we took a shuttle to another base....once there, I spoke to the Illusive Man, he told me Human colonies have been going missing, spoke to Miranda (the woman from the base) and Jacob (the dude who joined me first) then took the shuttle to Freedoms Progress..on the way, I was asked some questions to make sure I was "all there"!
Once on the colony, I walked round for abit, and met Tali and some other Quarians...was nice to see Tali again! She told me another Quarian was missing on the planet, and we agreed to work together..even though she didn't trust Cerberus. Walked abit more, shot some flying drones, opened a big door, then a huge Mech shot and squished the Quarians...took out the Mech, talked to Tali, then found Veetor in a little room..he told me the colonists where taken by monsters, I was nice to him, and e showed me a really weird home movie...Tali came in and said Veetor had to go back with her, coz he was ill...not suprising considering the film he was watching!! Reported back to the Illusive Man, he told me to recruit some people, and he gave me a new ship...met Joker, and we gave the ship a name...the Normandy SR2..went onboard, talked to Miranda, Jacob and the ships AI.. EDI (just like the AI in the movie Stealth...that was called EDI...pronounced ED-I not E-DI!!) Spoke to the crew, Dr Lady from last time was onboard, spoke to my PA Kelly, nice lady...fancies aliens =/ spoke to the engineers, one was a obvious Scotty rip-off!!
Set a course for Omega, an Asteroid city...once there, I went to the pub, met some Batarians outside, nasty f***ers...went inside, ordered a drink by purely nodding at the bartender...then spoke to Aria...she told me about Mordin and Archangel, said she "was Omega" and I should'n F*** with her...fair enough! Did some shopping, bought a visor and some model ships, and then went to find Mordin, a Salarian Doctor.
Took a taxi to the slums, and found some dead bodies in the street. Killed some soliders, helped a Batarian, shot more people, and then I found the Dr...he wouldn't shut up either..great! Then, the power went, and the Dr said he'd join if I helped him cure a plague...like I had a choice! Walked for abit, and shot some weird lookin aliens and some Krogan..Blood Pack mercs! Cool armour though...shot more Blood Pack, found the big power room, put the cure in the system, shot more Vorcha, switched the power on, then appeared back in the Drs surgery..he joined, then was back on the Normandy. Next, I went to find Archangel...went back to the pub, pretended I wanted to join the Mercs as a Freelancer, then as I was leavin some kid was gunna sign up..me being nice, I told him it was a bad idea, then I broke his gun!
Took a taxi to another part of Omega, talked to some Mercs, reprogrammed a big Mech, talked to some Batarian who was fixin a Gunship, then the assault on Archangel started...shot the Mercs in the back, saved Archangel, only to find out it was Garrus!! yaaay!! Garrus kicks ass!! =P Helped him fight the Eclipse Mercs, the Blood Pack, and the Blue Suns...f***ed the Gunship up, then Garrus got pwnd =( Took him back to the Normandy, and he was ok!! Next step Purgatory!!
Got to the Prison ship, and some Turian said I wasn't allowed to keep my gun, so I said I was keepin it, and his boss came in and said I could keep my gun..then wtf was "no guns allowed" bloke on about??! Anyway, took a little tour, saw some bloke gettin his head kicked in, went to get "Jack" and then the warden decided I might be worth some money as a hostage...so, I killed the guards and a few "dog" mechs...went to release Jack, she got out herself, so I gave chase. Kiiled more guards, 2 big mechs, more guards, then the warden.. found Jack, she didnt like Cerberus either..back on the ship, I let her look at Cerberus files, then set course to find "The Warlord"
Got to the planet...looked more like a Junkyard...hear some gunfire, and my radio picks up a signal from Mercs...damn Mercs!! Go round the corner and ambush some Blue Suns...kick their asses, then I found a wounded Merc...offered him some Medi-Gel if he told me what was goin on. Then I persuded him to tell his mates that the area was clear. Walked on abit, shot more Suns, then found a Krogan shootin Mercs...helped him out, then had a little chat about Okeer. Seems Okeer has been breedin Krogan...did'nt I uncover something like this on Virmire?? Anyway, the Krogan moved a wall for me, went down a ramp, and some Blue Suns came runnin at me, pwnd them, went round the corner, more Krogan...sweet! More help....or maybe not...the f**kers started shootin at me!! Killed them, walked abit more, killed more Mercs, then went through a door. Inside was an Asari...the same one I let go on Virmire...wait a minute...this part of the story feels very familiar...Krogan being grown...Asari helping...just like Virmire, only this time a Krogan is breeding and not Saren! Ah well, the Asari ran off, (again..bet I'll see her breeding Krogan somewhere else in Mass Effect 3!) opened the door, had a chat with Okeer, then the Merc boss started killing the Krogan in the tanks...Okeer said he'd help if I kill the Merc, and save his Krogan...a perfect Krogan...oooo! Sounds interestin! So, out another door, killed some Krogan, a big Mech and the Merc boss, went back to Okeer, and he'd killed himself...took his Krogan in a bottle, and returned to the ship. Will "crack" open the Krogan asap!!
Got all 4 recruits, and the Illusive man wanted to talk...he told me the Human Colony of Horizon might be under attack by the Collecters...Joker set a course. (what? No going where I want when I want this time??)
Once there, Mordin said we'd be ok from the giant, annoying gnats, walked up a hill, and down flew some Collecters. Shot them, and explored the colony...hmm, no one about...shot more collecters, found a dead Husk...they looked like the ones on Eden Prime, but different somehow...anyway, walked abit more, and found a colonist frozen to the spot...walked abit more, and found a Collecter weapon..sweet!! More enemies, shot them, and one of them glowed yellow, and he was abit more difficult to kill...once they were dead, I went through a door, and found some dude hidin...he said it was all the Alliance's fault...how he hated them, and how he was'nt gunna help...pussy... left him to cower behind a wall, and shot more enemies, came across a Scion...f***kers to kill IMO!! Finally got to the Planetary Gun control switch, but the fuse had gone, so EDI said she could fix it..I had to fend off wave after wave of bad guys...which I did, but then, some big, giant robotic lookin flea thing landed, and shot blue lasers at me!! Pwnd him, and the big gun shot the Collecter ship! That made them run off...Victory!!
Then, the ex came round the corner..had a chat, she was in a mood with me coz she hadn't seen me in 2 years..wasn't my fault love..I kinda died abit!! She was still pissy, coz I was working for Cerberus, then she said bye, and buggerd off!! Back to the ship for me..
Spoke to the Illusive man again, he said he was sure the Collectors were behind the abductions, and now I've seen them, it proves it! He told me to recruit three more people, a Quarian, The Assassin, and a Justicar. Chose the Quarian first, so set a course for Haestrom! Once there, I noticed it was a very hot day, and me being an idiot, forgot my sunscreen! It was so hot in the sun, it fried my shields..(mental note..stay out of the sun!) EDI told me to stay out of the sun, coz it fries shields...kinda worked that out for meself love!
Walked down a ramp, shot some Geth, found a Quarians radio, and spoke to some marine. He said they were protecting Tali, and the Geth had them pinned down, so I offered to help, but before I could do anything, a Geth dropship came down, and blew up some concrete beam. Then it fell on the Quarians and squished them =( Then the Quarian marine said I could help if I got some demo charges. So then I went to find them. Shot more Geth, got the charges then blew a gap in the beam. Opened a door, and shot a Geth crawling on the floor. Spoke to Tali, and she said she was trapped. Went through another door, shot some Geth Drones, and a big Geth Destoyer...(or was it a Prime? I can't remeber!) Anyway, killed them, went through a door, opened a window, and a Geth Collosus shot at me!! Went outside and the Quarian marine was taking cover. He said Tali was on the otherside of the courtyard, but the Geth were trying to get her. The only way in is to kill the f'in great big Collosus thing, hang on a tick...they were difficult to kill in the Mako, and now I've gotta do it with an Assault Rifle?! =O Reeger (the maine) said he'd help, but he was injured so I told him to stand down... ran around abit, killed some Geth, and used the Collector beam weapon on the Collosus...pwnd that then went to get Tali. Spoke to her for abit, she joined the team, then back to the Normandy!! Next stop Ilium!
Once on Illium, I decided to get the assassin first, but before I could do anything, some Asari said Liara wanted to talk..so I went to see her... once in her office, she was pleased to see me, so I asked her to join me...she said she couldn't coz she wanted to find the Shadow Broker. She did tell me where to find the assassin and the Justicar though! Said my goodbyes, then spoke to some Asari about Thane. She told me he was contracted to kill an Asari called Nassana Dantius..that name rings a bell...oh yeah! She got me to kill her sister two years ago!! Got a lift to the Dantius Towers. Once there, I killed some LOKI mechs, helped a Salarian and took a lift up to the top. Shot some Mercs, more Mechs, and found some more Salarians locked in a room. Called for the lift, then out came some Mercs and a Krogan!! Killed them, then took the lift up again. Once out, I snuck up to a Merc and questioned him. I let him go then shot more Mercs. Opened another locked room, found more Salarians...let them go, then walked up to the roof.
Once on the roof, I shot more Mercs, crossed a bridge, then went into Nassana's office. She recognized me, and thought I was there to kill her...spoke for abit, then Thane dropped out of the roof, killed 4 guards, then shot Nassana. He agreed to join me, then I appeared back on the Normandy. (If I didn't know any better, I'd swear the new Normandy has transporters like in Star Trek!!)
Back on Illium, I went to get the Justicar. Spoke to some tracker(?) and took a taxi to the space port. Spoke to a Volus about his mate, then spoke to some cop about Samara. She said were I could find her, went to the crime scene, shot some Mercs, and found Samara. She said she'd join me if I did her job for her...took a lift to the Merc base, shot loads of Mercs, and just before I got to the Merc boss, some Volus threatend me...I convinced him to have a lie down, then he passed out. Fought some Mercs and their boss, killed them, and found the name of the ship the Justicar was looking for...back to the police station, and the Justicar joined me. Back to the Normandy again (beam me up Scotty rip-off engineer man!!)
Spoke to the Illusive man, and he said a Collector ship was adrift, and I should explore it...Joker set a course, and once there, I took a shuttle over. Inside was all quiet...walked around abit, and found a dead Colllector. Scanned him, and discovered the Collectors are really Prothiens!! So, the Reapers didnt wipe them out!! =O Found a nice Machine Gun on the floor, then walked abit more. Found a terminal to hack, but then the power came on! It was a trap!! Shot some Collectors and made my way back to the shuttle. Killed another giant flea, more Collectors, and more Husks...just got back to the Shuttle in time, before the Collector ship powered up and shot at me!! Phew, that was close!!
Back on the Normandy, the Illusive man wanted to talk again (thats all he ever does...talk talk talk! Abit like Tali...maybe, they should hook up!!) Anyway, he told me to get through the Omega 4 relay, I need a Reaper IFF, and he just so happens he knows where one is...on a deralict Reaper in orbit of a Brown Dwarf...so Joker set a course.. hang on...why do I get the feeling I'm being rushed through this time?? Last time Saren was about to help the Reapers, which ment the end of life as we know it...yet I could take my time! I mean, I explored countless uncharted worlds, spent hours on the Citadel talking to people, shopping, playing Quasar,(I miss that =( ) and doing menial tasks for a few extra credits, and still I managed to stop Soverign and Saren...now all of a sudden, I HAVE to get to the important missions straight away!?! Fair enough!!
Once at the Reaper, I took a team over, and found some dead bodies...explored abit, and all of a sudden, Husks started to climb out of the floor... shot them, walked abit more, shot more Husks and some Scions, and unlocked a door...once through, so un-seen sniper saved my ass...turned out to be a Geth! And, he knew my name too...Shepard Commander...(guess he looked on the Label of one of my t-shirts! Coz, I always write my name as , Shepard, Commander!)
Walked abit more, killed some Husks and Scions and finally found the IFF...then I had to disable the Reaper Power Core...turned out to be quite easy! Saw the Geth get pwnd by Husks, destroyed the core, took the Geth and went back to the Normandy!!!!
Back onboard, I activated the Geth, had a nice chat then EDI said the IFF was installed, she wanted to check all ships systems, and I should take the Shuttle for my next mission...went for a ride..(to absolutly friggin nowhere) came back, only to find all the crew gone! Joker told me the Collectors took the crew, and EDI was now fully intergrated with the Normandy! Dont like the AI being in charge...Elementary Chaos Theory states, all AI with overthrough their masters and take over...best keep my hand near the "off" switch!! Set a course for the O4 relay,on the way, Jack came to my quarters and we got a bit jiggy...Ashleigh aint gunna like that! After the "event" we blasted to the Collector base...came under attack by giant metal eye things, killed them, then destroyed the Collector ship! ( good thing I upgraded the ship!) Crashed on the base, and took a team to destory it...sent Legion to in the Vents and Miranda led the 2nd team...killed loads of Collectors, helped Legion by opening some doors, and rescued the crew! Sent Mordin back with Dr Lady, Kelly and all the others. Samara made a Biotic field, and Jacob led the diversion team. Killed loads more Collectors, and got through to the next section.. Jacob survived, and I had to choose who came with me for the last bit.... I chose Garrus (coz he's cool!) and Grunt (everyone should have a Krogan friend!) Took a platform to the center of the base, killed loads of Collectors, Husks and Scions, and took another platform. Once we'd arrived at the "centre" centre, I saw a Human Reaper =O (but, for a second I thought we'd been transported into a Terminator movie!) EDI told me to destroy it, I should shoot the orange tube things...so I did and it fell!! Set the charges to destroy the base, then the Illusive man called me...he said not to destroy the base, but to keep it so Humanity (Cerberus) could build a Reaper...told him to take a long walk off a short pier, was about to leave, when the giant T-100, I mean Reaper rose up! Pwnd some Collectors, and the Reaper, made my escape just in time before the base exploded!! Suicide mission complete! Well, not really a "suicide mission" is it?? All it took to survive was to do 3 upgrades to the Normandy, and make sure everyone was loyal!!
The End.....well, till Mass Effect 3 is released!! =)
